I remember one late night when Lee and I lived in an apartment in North Carolina I heard a noise coming from downstairs. It sounded like something, in fact like someone was down there. I remember going down the stairs, my heart pumping as I held the first "weapon" I could get my hands on, one of those thin "old school" curtain rods. As I descended the stairs I came to the realization that if that noise was actually someone, all I could do was whip the poor schmuck to death and hope he ran from the pain, because I wasn't going to do much damage with that flimsy thing!
When you come to the realization something is there, your behavior changes. Your heart speeds up. You become more alert. You examine your surroundings with all of your senses seeking some sign of what you know must be right outside of your consciousness. Now, for the inevitable question. Is your quest for God like that or is it passive, mundane, and flat? Does your quest for God cause behavioral and physiological changes? Do you get up and grab something and go out seeking it or do you just roll over and say, "It's nothing ... let's go back to sleep?"
Last week, as we practiced for Ash Wednesday, Tina and I both reflected about something I have been thinking about. The words to the song we were practicing hit home fro both of us. It was hard to play and sing because of the emotional connection to that sung prayer "I Shall Not Want." When that happens, when I see the joy in someones eyes on Sunday morning because God has shown a little glimpse of Himself, when I am sweating from a task that I know has helped someone else, when I have broken bread with my friend John and we have shared the joys and frustrations of ministry, when I pray at the altar with a friend who is anxious about a surgery, when I hear that whisper telling me yes or no ... I am sure something, someone is there! My heart pumps faster ... my senses grow more attentive ... I listen and I know.